The Golden Age Of Silent Television

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November 24, 2017 by T. Gregory Argall

In television, once a particular trend starts, it’s suddenly everywhere. Some trends only permiated specific genres while other managed to cross over into several genres.

For instance, throughout the 1970s, many television detective/cop shows had a more-than-casual obsession with the hero’s mode of transport. Crime dramas were all about the gettin’ around.

• James Garner on The Rockford Files drove a gold Pontiac Firebird and was master of the J-turn.
• As Ironside Raymond Burr sat in a wheelchair and chased desperate criminals.
• Dennis Weaver’s McCloud rode his horse around New York City to track down bad guys.
• A very young Jeff Goldblum played a unicycle-riding private eye on The One Wheel Of Justice.
• Disco love-balladeer Leo Sayer tried his hand at acting portraying a roller-skating police officer on Roller Cop.
• Pogo Patrol featured an Olympic level gymnastics team riding pogo-sticks and forming a Neighborhood Watch in Fort Wayne, Indiana.
• On Vega$ Robert Urich’s Dan Tanna parked his car in his living room so that it could be featured in more scenes.

However, there was one detective show of that era comes to mind featuring lead characters who walked everywhere they went, mostly against the wind. You know the program I’m talking about. Who could forget that classic tagline?
“He’s a monk who’s taken a vow of silence. She’s a college professor with a PhD in Commedia Dell’Arte. Together they solve crimes! Tuesdays on CBS, don’t miss Mime & Punishment.”

Yes, that was an example of the second type of television trend, the cross-genre fad. This show was, obviously, inspired by the unlikely and phenomenal success of mid-70s mime artists Shields and Yarnell.

From 1977 through 1985, American audiences were offered no fewer than 147 different mime-themed television programs, covering all possible genres. Some were brilliant products of creativity and performance. Others not so much. Many were pure crap, but that didn’t stop the networks from trying and trying again.

Here’s a sampling of some of the highest rated mime television shows of the era:

Once Upon A Mime In The West – A drifter in greasepaint helps clean up a frontier town in the old west.

Don’t Speak To Me – A grumpy old mime and his dingbat mime wife live with their progressive mime daughter and her annoyingly talkative husband. Like All In The Family but with berets and striped shirts.

The Mime World Of Sports – Mimes participating in a wide variety of sports. Disturbingly fascinating.

Quiet In The Court – Judge Harvey Klappengrin presides over some of the most challenging legal cases in the city, but he’s also a mime.

Monkey Vs. Mime – Just a straight up boxing match with a chimpanzee fighting a different mime each week. The show ran for an astounding seven seasons and only ended because the chimp died of cancer due to excessive smoking. He had a perfect record, defeating 296 mimes in his boxing career.

The Mime O’Clock News – Regular news but presented by mimes.

Whiteface – An edgy sitcom about a young black man in St Louis who dreams of being a mime, much to the chagrin of his hardworking, blue collar family.

Prime Time Mimes – A variety show modeled after all of the other television variety shows of the late 70s, only everything was a mime act and there wasn’t a lot of variety.

War Mimes: The Untold Tale of the Army Mime Corps of World War II – A TV mini-series loosely based on a novel that Herman Wouk once thought about writing but then didn’t.

Fishing With Mimes – That’s it. Mimes that go fishing.

Mime Brides – A daytime soap opera about a group of women who are married to street performers and/or their long lost evil twins.

A Cornfield Full O’ Mimes – Like Hee Haw, but with mimes and even less entertainment value.

A Mime To Die – A horror series about a reporter tracking a homicidal mime.

Mime of the People – A mime is elected mayor in the small town of Dry Crick, Arkansas, population 201 if you count Myrtle-Mae’s three dogs.

The Butler Is A Mime – A standard sitcom about a generic rich family, except the butler is a mime. The writers weren’t even trying by this point.

Space Mimes – The mime crew of the USS Marcel Marceau encounter strange alien races and dangerous asteroid fields on their exploratory mission in deep space.

MIME! – The trials and tribulations of the students and faculty at the New York School of Mime. A blatant rip-off of Fame! But with – you guessed it – mimes.

(Jeez, how many mime jokes do I have? Give it a rest. Enough, already. Take a break.)

Fine. Okay. I’m done.
For now.

Try to be nice to each other.

tga