January 20, 2017 by T. Gregory Argall
Technically, his appearance wasn’t unattractive, she had to admit, assuming your definition of attractiveness included causing the eye to be inescapably drawn in, unable to look away, no matter how hard you tried.
His face contained all the usual features; there was nothing that was noticeably absent.. It’s just that the way the different parts of his face were assembled seemed… off.
He had two eyes, approximately one on either side of his nose, halfheartedly attempting to give the illusion of something potentially akin to symmetry. Continuing the skewed impression of balanced distribution, his ears rested on opposite sides of his head. However, one appeared to be nearly twice the size of the other and, depending on how the light struck them, she couldn’t say with certainty which one.
His mouth, resting above an angrily timid chin, seemed at odds with itself. For every few syllables he spoke, there would an involuntary pucker, as if his lips thought they might work better divided vertically rather than horizontally. And above that, his nose danced gently as he spoke. More than anything else, it reminded her of the air valve on a beach ball. Suppressing a brief smile, she momentarily envisioned his facial movements popping the plug from the valve, causing his head to deflate.
His head itself was slightly larger than one would expect and was generally round yet bumpy in places, like a globe with a relief map of the Earth. Following the globe analogy, she idly mused that his head appeared to have been divided into various geopolitical regions and each area had their own plans and goals in regards to his overall hairstyle.
He had broad arms hanging from narrow shoulders and his chest was best described as a project abandoned just in time. His legs made it clear that they’d rather be attached to someone else and his feet seemed unable to decide which direction his various toes should be pointed.
In short, if he had to be judged on his appearance alone, the judges would flee, leaving behind a very terse and angry letter of resignation.
As she removed her thick-lensed glasses, the world around her became a swirling mix of blurry shadows and bright blobs. She smiled, listening to the sound of his voice. Like in that old song, she reflected, she just wanted to be with him alone to talk about the weather. None of the many reasons she had for loving him were affected by the quality of her eyesight.
Try to be nice to each other.