The Greeting Card Sketch

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July 29, 2016 by T. Gregory Argall

My day got sidetracked with work, as well as a ridiculously addictive word game on a friend’s Facebook page.  I had a gloriously detail rant planned out for today’s blog entry but I simply don’t have the time to do it justice today.  Maybe next week.

As filler, here’s the Greeting Card Sketch that I wrote a few years ago.

TITLECARD:   MEANWHILE IN THE OFFICES OF A GREETING CARD COMPANY

 

Three men, let’s call them AY, BEE, and SEE, are sitting around a table, pitching greeting card ideas to each other. 

 

AY

Okay, so on the front of the card there’s a picture of a sunrise over the ocean and the words, “Every sunrise reminds me…” Aaaaand go.  What’s it say inside?

 

BEE

Uhh… “Every sunrise reminds me… of the first time I saw your smile and I knew you were the one.”

 

AY

Not bad, not bad. What do you think of, “Every sunrise reminds me of the warmth my heart holds for you”?

 

BEE

Yeah, that’s nice, I guess.

 

AY and BEE turn to face SEE.  

 

AY

How about you? Got anything?

 

SEE

(unenthusiastic) Sunrise, right? Over the ocean?

 

BEE

Right.

 

SEE

Okay.  “Every sunrise reminds me…” (pause) …It reminds me that you ripped my heart out and tore it into a million pieces, crushing my soul, and killing a little part of me with every word you say. I hope you die screaming in a fire, you cold heartless harpy.

 

Awkward silence as AY and BEE stare at SEE, blinking slowly. 

 

AY

Wow. Um. That’s… detailed.

 

BEE

Yeah. I felt the pain, buddy. It… It makes the reader kind of hope she dies, too.

AY

Maybe not screaming in a fire, but…

 

BEE

Yeah, that was a bit specific, but still… Very expressive and definitely from the heart.

 

AY

Right. From the heart. So… (pause) She dumped you, huh?

 

SEE

…Yeah.

 

BEE

Is… Is she seeing someone new? Do you know?

 

SEE looks coldly at BEE, as AY stares wide-eyed at him.         

DEE speaks and the camera pans to the fourth side of the table where DEE, a woman, is sitting, looking disgusted and annoyed.  

 

DEE

Guys, I’m right here.

 

BEE

Right. Sorry. (pause) So… Are you seeing anyone?

 

END

 

 

Try to be nice to each other.

tga

 

 

 

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