The Chet Chesterton Vignettes

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June 3, 2016 by T. Gregory Argall

Vignette 1

Tight shot of CHET, outside, standing against a brick wall. He is smoking a cigarette and talking on his cell phone. At the bottom edge of the screen we can just make out that he is wearing a red jacket over a white dress-shirt with a black bowtie.

CHET              …and since then, my Aunt Myrtle just sort of looks at me with that expression, you know. It’s weird. And a little a creepy.

CHET looks at his watch.

CHET              Anyway, dude, my break is over. Gotta get back to work. Meeting for beers after shift tonight? Cool. See you there, bro.

CHET ends the call and puts the phone in his pocket. Camera pans out to show several people gathered near him, standing in clustered groups, all smoking cigarettes. A sign on the wall reads, “SMOKING AREA.” CHET takes a flashlight from his pocket and holds it authoritatively. With a slight smile and an encouraging wink to the flashlight, CHET turns to address the assembled smokers.

CHET              Please try to keep an orderly line.  Sir, could I ask you to move over a just a bit? Thanks.  Single file, please, people. Thank you.

Title graphic flashes on the screen:  “CHET CHESTERTON, FREELANCE USHER”




Vignette 2

Four men are standing in a row. From the position of their arms and their posture, it is obvious that they are standing at a row of urinals against a short wall. The camera is behind the urinals, in front of the men, the top of the urinals visible at the bottom of the screen. The men are focused on the task and avoiding eye contact.

Behind them, a fifth man rushes in, then stops when he sees that all the spots are taken. He paces for a moment, looks at the ceiling, gives the general appearance of impatient urgency.

CHET, wearing his usher’s uniform, steps into view on the near side of the short wall, in front of the men.

CHET              Excuse me, gentlemen, could we all shift over just a bit, fit one more in?

The four men look nervously at each other for a moment, the carefully shuffle to the left, squeezing closer together, keeping their hands in front of them on their business.

CHET              Thanks, guys.

CHET waves to the fifth man and gestures to the now open space at the end.

CHET              Sir? There you go.

The fifth man quickly steps up to the urinal, starts what needs doing, and a relieved expression crosses his face.

FIFTH MAN  Thanks. Appreciate it.

Title graphic flashes on the screen:  “CHET CHESTERTON, FREELANCE USHER”



Vignette 3

A man and a woman are sitting on a sofa, watching television. The man is resting one of his feet on the coffee table. They are enjoying the show, laughing and having a good time. CHET, in his usher’s uniform, steps in and shines his flashlight on the man’s foot, although the room is well-lit.

CHET              Sir, could you take your foot down, please?

The man moves his foot and CHET turns off the flashlight.

MAN              Yeah, sorry, Chet.

CHET              Thank y–

CHET is interrupted by MARY tapping on his shoulder.

MARY            Excuse me.

CHET spins violently, crouching in an awkward defensive position and holding the flashlight above his head, his thumb ready on the switch.

CHET              Whoa! Hey, don’t sneak up on me like that. Never approach an usher in mid-ush. You could get hurt. I could have, uh, shined my flashlight in your eyes or, um, something. Yeah… Pre-ush, post-ush, you’re pretty safe to approach me at either of those times. But mid-ush, nuh-uh, taking your life in your hands doing that.

MARY            But… I just wanted to let everyone know that dinner’s ready…

CHET smiles, stands up straight and relaxed, spins the flashlight in his hand and puts it away.

CHET              Great. I’m starving.

CHET steps past MARY and rushes to the dining room.

Title graphic flashes on the screen:  “CHET CHESTERTON, FREELANCE USHER”



Try to be nice to each other.


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