From The Archives: Why We Don’t Have Flying Cars


February 27, 2015 by T. Gregory Argall

A slightly modified but still-relevant rant from a few years ago…

Let’s talk about cars and drivers for a bit. It’s a hot-button issue for me and this blog is about whatever I want it to be about at any given time, so today it’s about cars and drivers.
Mainly drivers.

See, the problem with vehicle-drivers is that they are people and most people are idiots. Therefore most drivers are idiots. Unfortunately most idiots (because they are idiots) don’t realize the fact of their own idiocy, and therein lies the problem.

The word idiot is defined as “an utterly foolish or senseless person.” Synonyms include fool, half-wit, imbecile, dolt, dunce, numbskull, ass-hat, slap-head, window-licker, butt-head and Member of Parliament.

The word comes from the 13th century Middle English term idiota, which was derived from the Greek word idiots, meaning “a person lacking skill or expertise.”

A car, on the other hand, is essentially a two ton killing machine on wheels. It’s a very heavy rubber, plastic, and metal box powered by tiny explosions of toxic fluids and it has lots of jagged bit just under the surface waiting to appear suddenly upon impact.

And every day millions of these things are placed under the control of, at best, “a person lacking skill or expertise.”

Now the contemporary world is a fast moving place and it can get a little imposing and intimidating at times. So the occasional driving error with no injury or damage can be forgiven. But the danger-morons who show a consistent pattern of poor driving skill regarding even the most basic tasks should be forced to walk everywhere.

They seem to be terminally befuddled by things like:

  • Changing lanes.
  • What highbeams are for.
  • How a stop sign works.

Too many people lack this basic information because they got their driving license from a Cracker Jack box. Even parking a car is beyond the ability of these imbeciles.

With that in mind we now present the Award for Astoundingly Incompetent Half-Assery in the Category of Parking.

In this highly competitive event, two parallel lines are separated by a distance greater than the width of a car. The challenge… park a car between the lines.

And the award goes to…

This ass-hat…

Bad Parking

The challenge is further complicated by the presence of an extremely visible pillar that conveniently serves as a reference point for the edge of the parking space.

Keep in mind that parking a car is not a timed event. This driver had the freedom to try as many times as necessary to park the car properly, yet was satisfied with this level of achievement.

As a society, is apathy really the best we can muster when presenting ourselves in public?


I know it’s difficult sometimes, but still, try to be nice to each other.


One thought on “From The Archives: Why We Don’t Have Flying Cars

  1. Chrystal Howard says:

    Laughing my freakin’ arse-hat off. Lol

    Chrystal Howard

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