From The Archives: A Trip To The Past, From The Past

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January 16, 2015 by T. Gregory Argall

Some meta-filler this week. From the archives, a trip even further back into the archives. (Just go with it. Trust me.)

Here’s a classic from Friday, July 25, 1975.

A Computer In Your Home? Get Real, Jive Turkey!

  Last week, a couple of college buddies started a computer company called “Mini-Squish” or “Micro-Softie” or something like that. (There’s gotta be a small penis joke there someplace, but I don’t have time to think of it ‘cuz a hot mama wants to do the hustle with me. WBNB) They say this company is gonna make computers that a brother can keep in his home. What kind of jive talk is that?

  Sure, at first the idea sounds CLF, but let’s think it through. We’ve all seen computers in movies, man. They’re huge. Even in the future, they’re gonna be gigantic. Then you’d have to store all those reel-to-reel tapes, too.

  The computer would fill your whole house and then your basement would be stacked high with tape reels and those weird punch-card things.

  But, hey, man, if that’s what floats your boat, the GDWBS.

  Best Movies Of The Year (First Half)

Cinematically, the first half of 1975 was groovy. Here is a short list of some of my favourite movies so far this year. These are films that will be talked about for years to come, hailed as major achievements in Twentieth Century Hollywood. Feast your peepers on these flicks, baby.

  The Apple Dumpling Gang — Don Knotts and Tim Conway are groovy together. I think they both gotta get an Oscar for this movie.

  Bug — Check this out… This earthquake releases these mutant cockroaches, you dig? But the roaches have the power to start fires. Man, this is OOTW. They had to make the posters bigger just to fit the whole tagline on… “They Look Like Rocks…Possess A High Intelligence…Have No Eyes…And Eat Ashes…They Travel In Your Car Exhaust…They Make Fire…They Kill.

  Blazing Stewardesses — Yvonne “Lily Munster” DeCarlo in a bawdy western about stewardesses. What’s not to love? SMSS

Later this year, keep your peepers peeled for the flick that will prove Ken Russell is the greatest director Hollywood has ever seen; Lisztomania, starring Roger Daltry as the old composer Franz Liszt, Ringo Starr as the Pope, and Rick Wakeman (you know, the dude from Yes) as Thor.

That flick is gonna snap, crackle and pop, man. It’s gonna be outta sight.

Well, baby, that’s all we got to rap about this week. Till next week, KIR and KOT.

tga

 

In order to make it easier for readers to keep up with the past, here is a Glossary of 1975 Acronyms

CLF – Cool Like Fonzie

GDWBS – Get Down Witcha Bad Self

KIR – Keep It Real

KOT – Keep on Truckin’

OOTW – Out Of This World

SMSS – Slip Me Some Skin

WBNB – We Be Nokkin’ Boots

TTBNTEO – Try To Be Nice To Each Other

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