This Song Wrote Itself, I Just Happened To Be There

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August 29, 2014 by T. Gregory Argall

Last weekend my wife and I joined some friends for an night of pizza and games.

The first game of the evening was something called Zombie Fluxx. We didn’t play this one, but I watched with bemusement as the rules were explained. It’s a custom-deck card game that pits the players against a never-ending hoard of zombies. Various cards present items or situations that prevent or facilitate action by or against the zombies.
One of the key elements is that zombies will be attracted to brains and coffee, because that’s how Mondays work.
My friend Bill was seeking clarification on how different permutations would play out, asking questions like, “If I had brains and you had coffee…” and, “If you had brains and I had coffee…”

As this unique combination of coveted items was repeated over and over, the absurdity of the sentences kept swirling around in my brain, eventually coalescing into the beginnings of a song.
A few minutes later I had a second verse which was entirely unrelated to the first but followed the same theme and pattern.
That’s when I realized I had fallen into a trap of my own making. I had started writing the type of song which one can never really finish writing. You may take a break from it occasionally, possibly for years, but there will always be another verse brewing.

If I had brains and you had coffee
We’d be a hell of a pair.
If you had brains and I had coffee
There’s nothing that we wouldn’t dare.

Brains and coffee, coffee and brains
Bring an umbrella in case it rains
‘Cause we’ll be smart and caffeinated
And a combo like that should be celebrated.

If I had lunch and you had car keys
We’d be a hell of a pair
If you had lunch and I had car keys
There’s nothing that we wouldn’t dare.

Lunch and car keys, car keys and lunch
This is yummy, thanks a bunch
We’ll drive around and be well fed.
What colour’s your car? My car’s red.

See what I mean?
Just now, as I’m typing this blog and telling this story at 11:45 Thursday night, another verse has occurred to me.

If I had socks and you had parachutes
We’d be a hell of a pair.
If you had socks and I had parachutes
There’s nothing that we wouldn’t dare.

Socks and parachutes, parachutes and socks
Sure sounds crazy; crazy like a fox.
When the ‘chutes open we won’t die, that’s true
Plus our feet’ll be warm, and cozy too.

Yeah, there’s gonna be no end to this. Sorry.

Try to be nice to each other.

tga

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