I’ll Sell You Five Dimes For A Dollar. What A Bargain.

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July 4, 2014 by T. Gregory Argall

Ever been to a dollar store?

They’re everywhere. There now are dozens of different retail chains built on the dollar store concept.

  • Everything For A Dollar
  • Dollarama
  • A Buck Or Two
  • Holla Dolla
  • Dollarific
  • Hello Dollar
  • Mr. Dollar
  • The Buck Shops Here

99c

Whatever name it goes by, a dollar store is based on a simple, straightforward business plan: Offer people useless crap they don’t want or need, at prices they can afford.

I took a leisurely wander around a dollar store last weekend. This is an activity I recommend to everyone. It’s a wonderful way to regain some perspective on life.
Here are some of the things I saw.

photo 5 (2)

Shot glasses in bikinis because dignity and respect are an important part of whiskey-fueled family gathering.

photo 4 (2)

Pink flamingos covered in glitter.
I don’t understand why these aren’t called “FlaBlingos.”

photo 5 (1)

Duct tape. Is there anything it can’t do?

photo 4

If this is not a scented candle that smells like roast chicken, then that’s a tragically missed opportunity.

photo 3 (1)

52 pieces of chalk in 24 different colours. That’s not even distribution.
I’ll bet there’s one piece each of 23 colours, and 29 pieces of neon puce chalk because they had an unplanned surplus in the warehouse.

photo 2 (4)

The Garlic Princess was here.

photo 5

I may be mistaken, but I think this is the kind of picture that drunken politicians and celebrities accidentally post on Twitter when they think they are in a private chat with their mistress.

photo 1 (3)

Before I’ve had my first giant cup of coffee in the morning, I need my emoticons to be huge.

photo 3 (2)

Apparently you can buy ninja balls at the dollar store.
I’m not sure what you would do with ninja balls. Maybe make a keychain that that hides from you, attacking when you least expect it?
I imagine the ninja would be quite upset that you have his balls.
Spiderman would probably feel the same way.

photo 2 (5)

This poor fellow was just lying on the floor, waiting for the CSI team to arrive.
I wanted to draw an outline of him with neon puce chalk but I had no idea where to find any.

photo 3 (3)

No visit to Canada is complete until you’ve been mooned by wooden caricature moose.

photo 1 (2)

A bag of rocks for a dollar. That’s gotta be a top seller.

photo 4 (1)

There’s a persistent chicken theme in this store.
Maybe they should call the place “Buck Buck.”

Remember, try to be nice to each other.

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