Battle of the Pants, First Strike


April 26, 2013 by T. Gregory Argall

Three weeks ago I issued an ulitmatum to the retail clothing industry demanding that they shelve their wares in such a way that people can actually reach the sizes they need.
I warned them that if they did not meet these reasonable expectations within three weeks then we, the people who wear clothes, would rise up and rearrange their shelves ourselves.
Well, the three weeks are up and I’m here to implore you, the clothed masses…

Never mind.
It’s a bad idea.
Cell 1
The GapCops don’t like it when you mess with their stuff.

Here’s a fun fact… Although clothing retailers are in every mall anywhere, and the “store locator” on their websites can point you towards dozens of outlets near you, they still, apparently, have Undisclosed Locations.
I don’t know where I am.
Cell 2
And I’m hungry…



One thought on “Battle of the Pants, First Strike

  1. cary says:

    Hang on Tom! We will find you and save you somehow! We’ll make those clothes mongers pay for this outrage!

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